foundation truth

lesson 23 - marriage

HOW IS A HOUSE ESTABLISHED?

Just because two born-again believers get married does not necessarily mean that they have established a Christian home. A material house does not come together by accident, but by design. It is the same way with our families.

  • A house must be built. Psalm 127:1; Proverbs 14:1
  • A house must have a proper foundation. Matthew 7:24-27
  • A house must have divinely instituted government as its structure. Ephesians 6:1-4; Psalm 68:6

WHAT IS GOD’S ORDER IN THE HOME?

The three main types of government in our society are the church, home, and civil government. There is an order of headship in the home just as there is in the church and the Godhead. This is God’s chain of command. I Corinthians 11:3; Colossians 1:18; Ephesians 5:23-25

WHAT IS A CHAIN OF COMMAND?

A chain of command is God’s delegated order of an authority. The following chart illustrates God’s chain of command:

god marriage
Colossians 3:18-20 lists three levels of authority in the home. This is the way God designed a family to function. The problem facing the wife is submission. The problem facing the husband is loving properly
without bitterness. The problem facing the children is obedience. Each of these actually has the same root problem of wanting to be the boss. They are not the boss; God is.

DOES HEADSHIP MEAN SUPERIORITY?

Headship does not mean:

  • Dictatorship
  • Inequality of men, women, or children
  • Inferiority of the woman
  • Superiority of the man

WHAT ARE THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF THE HUSBAND?

  • Acknowledgment and confession that Jesus Christ is LORD over his life in every area. To accept the fact that God has given headship to him, and that he himself is under Headship. A husband can only exercise authority and headship if he himself is under divine authority and headship. I Corinthians 11:3
  • Recognition that his wife is a helper. Genesis 2:18
  • Recognition that his wife was not “taken from the feet to be trodden underfoot, not taken from the head to be browbeaten, but she was taken from his side, the place nearest to his heart, to be loved by him.” Genesis 2:20-23
  • Recognition that his wife is of like nature and substance. Genesis 2:23
  • The realization that he is to leave and cleave: leave father and mother, cleave to his wife. Genesis 2:24-25.
  • Recognition that he and his wife are one, even as Christ and the church are one.
    • Adam said it. Genesis 2:23
    • Jesus said it. Matthew 19:4-6
    • Paul said it. Ephesians 5:30-32
  • Learning how to communicate LOVE to his wife AS Christ loved the church. Understanding the character and nature of love. Ephesians 5:25-31; I Corinthians 13:4-8
  • Giving himself to his wife even as Christ gave Himself for the Church. Ephesians 5:25
  • The realization that his responsibility is to nourish his wife. “To promote health and strength” Ephesians 5:29
  • Realization that his responsibility is to cherish his wife. “To impart warmth, cherish, foster, care for.” Ephesians 5:29

WHAT ARE THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF A WIFE?

  • Must know the area of responsibility. Husband and wife are equal as persons but not equal in responsibility.
  • Must accept responsibility in the right attitude. The woman is not inferior to man; not competing with a man. Husband and wife are equal in importance but not equal in position.
  • Must have a submissive spirit. Hebrew meaning – “To come under the protection of another “ Ephesians 5:22 24; Colossians 3:18
  • Must reverence her husband. Ephesians 5:24, 33
  • Must obey her husband. Ephesians 5:24
  • Must honor her husband. I Peter 3:6
  • Must have a meek and quiet spirit. I Peter 3:15
  • Must recognize that husband and wife are heirs together of the grace of life. I Peter 3:7
  • Must have modesty and godliness. I Timothy 2:9-10
  • Must know the woman as a helper; the complement to her husband. Genesis 2:18
  • Must realize she is the homemaker, which involves order, cleanliness, attractiveness. Proverbs 14:1, 31:10-31

Note the promises to the godly women who continue in the faith in I Timothy 2:15. The emphasis in this verse is “if they, (husband and wife,) continue in faith.”

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About the Author: Dr. Dale Yerton

Dr. Yerton serves as an overseer of a network of churches across the world. What began as a network of six church groups representing 500 churches in Mexico has grown into an international ministry. 

He and Evelyn, his wife over fifty years, live in Hopkinsville, Kentucky. They have two daughters: Lora–married to the Rev. Vince Farrell, pastors of Journey Church in Hopkinsville, Kentucky–and Kari—also of Hopkinsville–and are the proud grandparents of Emma and Bennett Farrell.

Dale Yerton